One of My “Auntie Mames”

One of my favorite movies of all time is Auntie Mame—the 1958 version starring Rosalind Russell. Mame Dennis is unapologetically unconventional, wildly curious, and utterly uninterested in behaving the way a woman “should.” She collects people, throws herself into experiences, and lives as if life itself is an ongoing dinner party with excellent stories.

Long before I had a language for it, Auntie Mame shaped my understanding of the kind of life I wanted to live—and the kind of people I wanted in my orbit. These are the aunties (by blood or by choice) who expand the edges of your world, model joy and mischief in equal measure, and remind you that aging does not require shrinking.

One of those luminous figures in my own life is my Aunt Daisy—my mother’s younger sister, and her closest companion through childhood and adulthood.

I thought I would share some of my Aunt Daisy stories:

Feb 12, 2016

My birthday call to my 91-year old Aunt Daisy was again one for the record books. I assumed she was taking it easy on her birthday but she said that on the contrary she has been celebrating for an entire week. 

She lowered her voice to admit that she was a little tired after all the activities and was not sure how the soy sauce bottle ended up in the living room by the piano and why her IPhone was by the rice in the kitchen cabinet.

Feb 12, 2017

I called Aunt Daisy to wish her all the best for Birthday #92. She politely corrected me to say she was really 29. 

There was a pause on the line and she continued, “in Chinese we read right to left!”.

OK then: Happy 29th birthday to my Aunt Daisy!

April 12, 2017

Another update from my Aunt Daisy who called to say she spoke to a nice man over the phone and that the construction workers have finished the job and that they were extremely neat and tidy. "What did you buy?", I asked.

Turns out that Aunt Daisy bought a new walk-in tub and shower which cost $17k. I asked her why it cost so much and why she bought a new unit when she has 2 new bathrooms in her house. She said this one comes with jets and a remote control switch that activates different colors which can come on and off and which can be programmed to music.

My 92 year-old Aunt just bought herself a disco tub. Party at Aunt Daisy's!!!!

Dec 26, 2017

Another delightful phone conversation with 92-year old Aunt Daisy who reports that her 1997 Honda Civic still runs very well. She is delighted that it now has 50,000 miles on it. Evidently she keeps it in good shape by driving it an average of 1 mile per week and has befriended a nice man at the Honda service staton who keeps making her an offer to buy it, since this is now a collector's item.

I jokingly asked her if she wanted a new car for Christmas and she said, "I am almost 93 years old. I am a Catholic, I don't curse, I don't drink, and I am very religious.

But I really want someone to remove Trump from the face of this earth".

May 6, 2018

Another hilarious phone call with 93 year-old Aunt Daisy today. She apologized for not knitting me more scarves. She is delayed with her knitting since she only likes to knit when she is watching TV but reports that her TV doesn't work anymore.

I asked her what happened and she said there is too much of Trump on TV, she is sick of hearing/seeing him and so she unplugged everything from the back of her TV set. Now she can't get it restarted.

She said that was just fine since she is getting lots of people asking to come by and play Rummikub with her. Her doctor, the car repairman, the gardener, the waste management guy, her chiropractor are all lining up to come by and hang out with her during their lunch break.

Wonder what her neighbors must be thinking when they see 5 different men coming in and out of her house on various days of the week?

So here’s my invitation: seek out these aunties. Cherish them. Save their stories. And when the time comes, step into the role yourself. Be the person who throws the party, tells the truth, flirts with life, and leaves others with better stories than they arrived with.

If you’re lucky, you attract Auntie Mames. If you’re really lucky, you realize you can become one.